[ As usual, she doesn't resist; it's a comforting little gesture. But as he does, Koharu's expression grows more uncertain, mouth pursing into a flat line. After a hesitant shift where she sits, she manages to find her words. ]
No, I've never seen one for myself. I've... never seen anyone die before.
I figured not. [And what a way to have your first. He lets the words sit a minute. He can't rightly decide what to say next. What might actually help.]
I'm sorry this is the way it happened, kiddo. That it was as rough as it was. It's not easy even when it's peaceful.
Not in the same way everyone else is. I don't come from any kind of war, I don't do combat of any kind, magic or no.
I just grew up in a town where a couple bad things happened to good people. [A couple. Sure. He purses his lips.] My good friend's little brother was murdered. Georgie Denbrough. He was six years old, and Bill and I were only ten at the time. It was a nasty scene, so they didn't have an open casket at the wake or anything.
There were some other victims throughout the year though. My friends and I found a body, near the end of it. That's all.
...Frankly? Until recently, I didn't even remember it happened. Not until I visited my hometown again. Like my head wiped it all clear. Too tough to deal with, I suppose.
[Truth, or half of it. Buttressed by white lies. But it's the meat of it that's important. He'd rather she didn't feel alone.]
It's all right. You don't gotta say anything. [He smiles at her. What a little cutie, truly. Just nothing but kindness and consideration.] It was a long, long time ago.
[As for finding peace...They'll see.]
My point was, it's normal to get shocked by this stuff. It's all right to be rattled by it. Really, the people you gotta feel sorry for are the ones who stop feeling it because they see it so much. That's the real pity, if you ask me.
Don't let the way anyone else handled things make you feel lesser for it. It's better to feel. Even when it hurts.
No no, come on now, don't be like that. Of course it matters.
[Little lady! Puts a hand atop her head and tousles her hair a bit.]
I just don't want you dragging yourself for not playing chief investigator, all right? You did good in a situation you never should have been in. That none of us should have been in. Life's always gonna throw you a curveball, sometimes you bat them out of the park and other times you fumble.
As long as you keep playing the game, you'll be all right. You get me?
[ She doesn't even mind about her hair getting a little messed up; it's late, and lord knows it isn't long before she heads back inside to crash hard. ]
I'd say I'll do better next time, but I hope this is the only time it happens. For now, I'll just... I'll keep going.
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I don't mind company. I think... I just needed some air. And the weather feels nice.
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[He holds a moment. Then sifts in, takes a spot near to her, but not so close as to crowd. In reaching distance if she needs it.]
You thinking about Charlie?
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[ But that's obvious, she thinks. Who wouldn't at a time like this? ]
I wish this wasn't the last memory I'll have of her.
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[He tilts his head some, all the better to face her.]
Who says the last memory has to be the most important one? She was bigger than what happened to her, if you ask me. Much bigger.
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Yeah... she was. It's just hard to shake what we saw today. I didn't think they would—put her there.
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[He'll reach now. Take her hand in his, squeeze it.]
Was it your first time? Being at a — well. A funeral, of sorts?
[Seeing someone dead.]
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No, I've never seen one for myself. I've... never seen anyone die before.
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I figured not. [And what a way to have your first. He lets the words sit a minute. He can't rightly decide what to say next. What might actually help.]
I'm sorry this is the way it happened, kiddo. That it was as rough as it was. It's not easy even when it's peaceful.
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... It's okay. Life is...
Hard, sometimes. Everyone sees the best of it, and the worst of it.
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...I saw my first when I was quite young too. About eleven. Ten for a funeral, but seeing things front and center was later.
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You're not used to this sort of thing too, are you?
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I just grew up in a town where a couple bad things happened to good people. [A couple. Sure. He purses his lips.] My good friend's little brother was murdered. Georgie Denbrough. He was six years old, and Bill and I were only ten at the time. It was a nasty scene, so they didn't have an open casket at the wake or anything.
There were some other victims throughout the year though. My friends and I found a body, near the end of it. That's all.
...Frankly? Until recently, I didn't even remember it happened. Not until I visited my hometown again. Like my head wiped it all clear. Too tough to deal with, I suppose.
[Truth, or half of it. Buttressed by white lies. But it's the meat of it that's important. He'd rather she didn't feel alone.]
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That's awful... I'm so sorry.
[ Genuinely. ]
I— I wish I knew what to say. But I... hope you and your friend have found peace since then.
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[As for finding peace...They'll see.]
My point was, it's normal to get shocked by this stuff. It's all right to be rattled by it. Really, the people you gotta feel sorry for are the ones who stop feeling it because they see it so much. That's the real pity, if you ask me.
Don't let the way anyone else handled things make you feel lesser for it. It's better to feel. Even when it hurts.
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I don't... want to be completely numb to it or anything. I just wish I could've...
[ She trails off, falls silent for a moment, then exhales wearily. ]
I guess it doesn't matter what I wish. But I—I'll be okay.
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[Little lady! Puts a hand atop her head and tousles her hair a bit.]
I just don't want you dragging yourself for not playing chief investigator, all right? You did good in a situation you never should have been in. That none of us should have been in. Life's always gonna throw you a curveball, sometimes you bat them out of the park and other times you fumble.
As long as you keep playing the game, you'll be all right. You get me?
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[ She doesn't even mind about her hair getting a little messed up; it's late, and lord knows it isn't long before she heads back inside to crash hard. ]
I'd say I'll do better next time, but I hope this is the only time it happens. For now, I'll just... I'll keep going.